A wedding should be the best day of your life. But, as you’ll know if you’ve already started planning yours, no matter how hard you might try it isn’t ever just all about you. Inevitably, no matter how headstrong you try to remain, families on both sides will attempt to weigh in and each party will want their demands met – no matter how ridiculous or outdated their traditions might be!
So how can you have the modern wedding of your dreams while keeping the peace?
The first step is to determine what you are willing to fight for.
Maybe you’re adamant that you want a small, intimate wedding instead of inviting every single distant relative. Make this known to your family and future in-laws, explaining to them the reasons it’s important to you.
On the other hand, maybe you don’t mind that your mum is insisting on a traditional wedding cake when you wanted something more Pinterest-worthy and on-trend. After all, as long as it tastes good, does it really matter?
Pick your battles and only fight for the things that are really important to you. It will save you a lot of grief if early in the planning stages you make peace with the fact that you are not going to be able to please everyone.
Here are some ways to honour tradition without letting it dominate your wedding.
Sure, it can be white and maybe you even want a veil, but don’t be afraid to choose striking designs that go against the traditional wedding gown look.
Make a statement with your dress by choosing a more fashion-forward style, perhaps opting to be involved in the design instead of buying off the rack.
The first dance
Your attendees are going to want to witness you and your husband (swoon) twirl around on the dance floor looking lovingly into each other’s eyes. But if the thought of dancing in front of hundreds of people leaves either of you standing in a puddle of nervous sweat, you could have your wedding party join you on the dance floor so not all the attention is on the two of you.
Instead of going for a song that has been done a million times before, pick music that represents the two of you and makes you both comfortable.
Walking down the aisle
You’ll want to make an entrance!
Although the archaic tradition of being “given away” by your father may cause you to cringe, how about asking both parents or your siblings to walk with you?
The bridal party
Gone are the days when bridesmaids all needed to look identical. Keep the purists happy by encouraging your bridesmaids to stick to a certain theme and colour scheme, but allow them to choose a style of dress and accessories that they feel comfortable with.
The ceremony location
If you want to make your wedding truly unique, steer clear of more traditional venues that have been done many times before. Instead of St Peter’s Cathedral, go exploring to discover special locations that speak to both of you as a couple, such as a warehouse venue or the rustic White Hill Estate.
Photos & Video
And, finally, if you’ve been forced to keep things strictly traditional, use your photos and wedding video to express your individuality and creative flair.
Of course, you can capture all the standard milestones (your first kiss as husband and wife, standing with family, throwing the bouquet…) but chat to your photographer and videographer about how to create some memorable moments that you’ll cherish forever.
You can also encourage guests to take their own photos, just don’t forget to create a special wedding day hashtag or use a wedding app so you can find them.
What do you think?
Are you going to be more of a traditional or modern bride – or bridge the gap and forge your own path?